It's 2:15 in the morning, and I'm not quite sure what it is, but I don't feel like going to sleep at all. In fact, it's really weird.

I don't seem to have any emotions at the moment at all.

It's kinda interesting looking around and seeing stuff but not really thinking about any of it. Something like the idea that I wrote to one of my friends recently and simply said, "you'll be fine."

There wasn't any concern, no empathy, no fake loving statements just to try and make her feel any better. If you knew me, you'd probably think that was pretty weird.

I'm not normally like this, I swear.

But like I said, it's still kind of interesting to just let your train of thought run without any real emotion. Apathy is actually quite funny. The thought ran across my mind, "sorry if saying any of this hurt your feelings."

Point is...I don't mean that. What's to say sorry for? It's true. I'm not going be the end all be all of whether a person is happy or not. Sure, I'll say a few nice things, but I can't MAKE anybody be happy, even if I really wanted that for them. If they say they're fine, there's nothin more for me to do.

ha, that last bit seemed kinda angsty huh? oh, and by the way, if you're reading all of this, find something better to do. It's not really important anyway. More than anything I'm just preventing myself from going to bed.

Am I depressed? No.

Happy? Not especially.

Mad? Don't have anything to be mad about.

I'm sure that when I wake up in the morning, this weird mood will be gone. Maybe it's that anime I've been watching. "Darker Than Black." It's a good one. You ought to check it out some time. Kinda interesting tho, the main characters of the series don't really have emotions. It's a weird thing to watch people who don't react.

I was feeling slightly poetic earlier. Still kinda thinkin about it. Then again, I don't really have anything to write a poem about. No real beauty around me at the moment. No music cuz my roommate is asleep. Nothing to be mad at or think deeply about.

All I'm doing is breathing.
Nothing else.

Is this what it's like to sleep with eyes open?
No, sleep brings dreams.

I'm not dead, but not doing anything worthwhile either.
It's kind of nice not having to do that. It means no obligations to anyone, even yourself. Or at least it feels like it. And it's only an escape anyway. In the morning there will be plenty to do. In fact, probably way too much for me to do. Yay for midterms and a computer programming class that doesn't make sense. Oh well.

Still reading this babble? Hope not. I just felt like typing for some reason. It might be more worthwhile to you to just leave with your psyche intact. This is nothing. If you put nothing in your hands and squeeze them together to try and make something, you still only have nothing. If this giant thing seems like, "There's got to be something here." just stop. Nothing here. No Purpose. No reasoning behind any of it. I just seem to like hearing my fingers type out letters, words onto the page.

oh well. I guess I'll just go to bed now. Even though I really don't feel like it. I almost just feel like laying down and staring at the ceiling. Don't know why. I suppose that's okay tho.

Hope you all have a good day. Enjoy life. It's worth it.